May Day is a perfect opportunity for the people of Scarfolk to rid the town of any surplus or redundant citizens. The Scarfolk Wicker Man will hold up to 100 people, with one space always reserved for the lucky winner of the compulsory town raffle.
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Can we have a Peckham Wicker Man? Artisan hewn and compulsory for all hipsters or craft brewers who wholesale their elder flower lager, masquarading as beer.
ReplyDeleteThe new video for Radiohead's Burn the Witch looks like it's been pirated from Scarfolk daytime children's television.
ReplyDeleteThe sweet smell of sacrificial flesh,the shared joy of the local community honouring it's pagan heritage and traditions and Ingrid Pitt in your bath after a hard days debauched worship. A wonderful time of year for all the family.
ReplyDeleteI have recently heard that someone in Scarfolk actually went to restaurant that had Chianti, and they took the bottle home and hung it in their house. I really must meet them, they sound very exciting. Does anyone in Scarfolk know who they are? I hope the restaurant they went too wasn't too far outside Scarfolk or they will probably have got rabies. There's exciting and just plain dangerous.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the weekly Town Square beheadings?
ReplyDeleteWhen some slaggards don't clean up afte themselves playing "Heads and skittle pins" after a public festival,it ruins it for everyone else!A few bin liners and a little picking up,and we'd all still be enjoying that jolly fun sport.
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