When Scarfolk's Mayor Ritter announced his determination to fight the war on drugs, he meant it. He also knew that if you want to win a war, it has to exist in the first place. Fortunately, Ritter had shares in the Cavalier Pharmaceutical company with whom the council secretly collaborated on a scheme to introduce vast amounts of highly-addictive narcotics into the daily lives of Scarfolk children.
The scheme not only bolstered Cavalier Pharm and other local industries; by the end of the decade it had also attracted increased government funding for the region's police and prison services. Additionally, as many young addicts didn't make it to adulthood, the strain on the NHS and welfare programmes was greatly reduced.
When Ritter was lauded for his services to the town, he said he had only done it for the children who, he declared, "are the future", though it became apparent that he specifically meant his own children who had been conceived during occult rituals, had never been exposed to the drug schemes and now had many more career opportunities than they might have had otherwise.
Above and below are 1970 drug advertisements by Cavalier Pharm. By 1972 barbiturates had been introduced to school milk, and drugs such as heroin were included in the ingredients of Pick 'n' Mix sweet selections.
More Cavalier Pharm related posts: Mindborstal and Children & Hallucinogens: The Future of Discipline. See also: Lobottymed (Discovering Scarfolk. p.15) and Placebol (Discovering Scarfolk. p.66).
"Fight the war on drugs" Always easier to shoot and kill somebody when you are completely of your bonce on angel juice, zooming on crock pipes
ReplyDeleteCrock pipes are so *yesterday* - I get mine via a mandrill.
DeleteSure, because when you hear "drugs" you conveniently remember of dangerous ones but surprisingly forget about those _much less_ dangerous or harmful than painkillers, alcohol, tobacco, solvents, etc... Typical...
ReplyDeleteIf you'd have looked through the site before you commented you would have found several posts dealing with tobacco, alcohol, painkillers and other over-the-counter medications. We even did sugar and food additives. Oh, and ergot.
DeleteRemember though, Alcohol isnt a drug, it's drink.
DeleteIf time's a drug, then Big Ben is a huge needle injecting it into the sky.
Deleteoh I like that :D
DeleteDon't forget love. I hear that is a drug too. The government should ban it before someone gets hurt.
DeleteRitter's annointment as mayor was the pinnacle of Cavalier Pharm's program to influence Scarfolk politics. But who can forget the scandal their demonically-possessed replicant [firstname][lastname] caused when it stood for leader of the Scarfolk Socialistic party?
ReplyDeleteJUST SAY : "OH !? " Which one is right for my son???". Consultations given free by Dr Outofmynut every Thursday at the nearest initiation clinic.
ReplyDelete