Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay."
For more information please reread.
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Sunday, 28 June 2020
Beer Mats of the 1970s
The pubs have reopened. Here is a selection of 1970s beer mats from the Scarfolk council archives. Collect them all!
A couple of gills of international laughing stock please and a slim panatella. Oh and a pack of pork scratchings , the one that's cleverly disguising the wench's tits if you don't mind.
Can I get a pint of Laughing Stock and a half of Super Spreader as a chaser? Just the thing to start with, nice and light, somewhat refreshing. And could I have just a taste of Britannia's Folly? - Not a glass just yet as I'd like to pretend I'm a reasonable chap and not the kind of alcoholic glutton looking to down three pints of Folly, followed by five of Exceptionalism. I think I'll end the night with a couple of pints of Hubris then get halfway through a final pint before it catches up with me and I regurgitate my Double Standards down the front of my shirt while lying in the gutter in a puddle of my own piss singing tunelessly about how great Ingurlund is. Flagrant Gaslight is a bit floral for my tastes but I can fully recommend Petri Dish and Mass Graves - world-beating beverages that have astounded international bodies and are seriously disrupting the brewing industry.
Can I please have a pint of Warm & Weak?
ReplyDeleteHave you tried the old version,"Weak as Water"? They were made by the same family as "Corruption Cola"
DeleteCan I buy these? Pretty please!
ReplyDelete1½p each.
DeleteWhy don't you guys actually produce these?
ReplyDeleteI actually came here thinking it might be possible to buy one!
DeleteHave you any Pandemonium Pops for the kids?
ReplyDeleteFantastic collection! Must be in the illness book of records.
ReplyDeleteMouldysauerkraut.
Carefully defocused real-talk through the lens of a pint glass. Art design interventions of the highest order. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta release these for sale in packs of 10 per design.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I'd buy some!
DeleteMe too.
DeleteThat's quite a big selection of products being brewed in Scarfolk. They are obviously dedicated to the cause. Brewed in laboratories by masochists.
ReplyDeletePlease actually make these
ReplyDeleteAs promoted by Camro (Campaign for resurrecting Orwell).
ReplyDeleteAgain - if possible - you have excelled yourself. I laughed so much I had to be put on a ventilator.
ReplyDeleteBest 70
ReplyDeleteA pint of very bitter please.
ReplyDeleteA pint of very bitter please.
ReplyDeleteWait,weak as water,what?where?
ReplyDeleteA couple of gills of international laughing stock please and a slim panatella. Oh and a pack of pork scratchings , the one that's cleverly disguising the wench's tits if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteEr, that's no wench, that's my grandfather! He'll be over the moon with your comment!
DeleteStay sharp to the bottom of the glass,
ReplyDeleteShut up and take my money
ReplyDeleteCan I get a pint of Laughing Stock and a half of Super Spreader as a chaser? Just the thing to start with, nice and light, somewhat refreshing.
ReplyDeleteAnd could I have just a taste of Britannia's Folly? - Not a glass just yet as I'd like to pretend I'm a reasonable chap and not the kind of alcoholic glutton looking to down three pints of Folly, followed by five of Exceptionalism. I think I'll end the night with a couple of pints of Hubris then get halfway through a final pint before it catches up with me and I regurgitate my Double Standards down the front of my shirt while lying in the gutter in a puddle of my own piss singing tunelessly about how great Ingurlund is.
Flagrant Gaslight is a bit floral for my tastes but I can fully recommend Petri Dish and Mass Graves - world-beating beverages that have astounded international bodies and are seriously disrupting the brewing industry.
Brilliant
ReplyDelete