In 1979 the government told the BBC that it needed to have more control over its regional programming, especially in Scarfolk. The culture secretary delivered a whitepaper in the form of a nursery rhyme, the lyrics of which warned the BBC that it should "create distinction or face extinction". To illustrate his point, the culture secretary brought along the education secretary, who he dressed as a dinosaur, and the secretary of state for work and pensions who was dressed as the meteor which wiped out all living things.
However, the culture secretary did not define exactly what he meant by "distinctive" and within the year BBC Scarfolk had begun broadcasting programmes which it felt satisfied the government's demands. Many of these programmes didn't make it past pilots, much less receive full series commissions. Again, the culture secretary had to intervene. He suggested programme titles that the goverment would prefer to see, programmes such as "Great, Amazing, Incredible Conservative Heroes", "Report Your Neighbour!" and "Strictly Catapult", which saw the coastal construction of an immense contraption which launched unaccompanied child refugees at great velocity back to their native countries.
You guys are mad lucky to have the BBC. Not having to cater to the lowest possible denominator to reach the Christian dimwits who actually buy what they see on TV and boycott anything genuinely progressive, to keep the ratings high and the commercials top dollar. The BBC just gets a mix of PBS and cool cats turning it all into a Satan worshipping Sesame Street free-for-all, god or whatever Lovecraftian entity is in vogue over there, bless and keep thee (within strict governmental limits).
ReplyDeleteStrictly Catapult is getting rebooted and should be back on our screens soon. Hopefully classics like Call My Snuff, It's A Blackout and Cthulhu Plays Pop will all be back on our screens soon, giving us all less of a reason to go outside and risk contracting rabies.
ReplyDeleteCelebrity paedophiles are taken from jail to live in a house in Widness monitored by close circus television- - they are subjected to various games dressed as oversized sumo wrestlers. Members of the public shout the catchphrase "It's a nonce out" when the winner is released.
ReplyDeleteGod bless the Narcoleptic Family. May they forever rest.
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