While the state frequently warned children about the dangers of playing on icy ponds, near electrical substations and in open-air, biological weapons laboratories, it failed to take into consideration the decade's plethora of science fiction films and TV programmes, which inspired space-themed games up and down the country.
Scarfolk children, who were known to take greater risks during play, initiated an unfortunate trend that started claiming lives. In 1977, two schoolboys from Scarfolk’s Junior Indoctrination Facility dared each other to endure the harsh extremities of space. Their corpses were eventually located drifting a few hundred miles from earth by tracking the surveillance devices that had been implanted in their frontal lobes at birth.
Concerned parents demanded that the state act immediately. Two years later, (and only after the government realised its child labour factories were losing a steady flow of under-10s), a public information campaign was launched which warned minors about leaving the earth's atmosphere (see poster above). Scarfolk Council also laid many miles of high-altitude, electrified fencing to repel innocent children who might unwittingly stray into outer space.
The fence used to snag nylon trousers and cheap clothing. The static electricity generated would compound with the electric fence and children would combust. From the earth it resembled fireworks. The authorities marketed this on November 5th and charged admission to special viewing platforms. Families of the children obtained 10% discount off admission prices.
ReplyDeleteI have been assured by my local council seat that walls are racist. Electrified walls seem doubly so.
ReplyDeleteAh, space: the final front door. I despair for those latchkey kids. Hope there was a fitting orbituary.
ReplyDeleteAt the parents own expense,Of course!
DeleteJeez, when I was a kid, all of my friends and I used to play in space all the time. We just had to make sure we were extra careful and none of us ever came to harm. Obviously I feel sorry for the parents of those two boys but you can't make an omellete without a frying pan as my old man used to say.
ReplyDeleteThose poor kids in the high-rises on the Albion Estate! They had nowhere else to play. Health and safety gone mad.
ReplyDelete