Illegal Puppetry & Ventriloquism

By 1977 the numbers of puppeteers and ventriloquists roaming Scarfolk's sewers had reached crisis point.

Initially, they had claimed their sole intention was to entertain the many outcast citizens who had been ordered by the courts to live out their remaining days in the sewer system beneath Scarfolk's streets. It became apparent, however, that the ventriloquist's real motives were far less salubrious.

In the maze of subterranean concrete tunnels they lured people with sweets, toys and other gifts and abducted them. Then, through a complex process of mummification which permitted the subject to forever retain partial consciousness, the abductees were turned into so-called 'breathing dummies' destined for the northern, illegal club circuit where 'haunted ventriloquism' had become popular.

Though haunted ventriloquism conversions were outlawed in entertainment, they continued to be applied in politics for many more years.

"Fraction Action" Charity Newspaper Ad (1972)

Many charities in 1970s Scarfolk were actually illegal fronts for corporate and political organisations.

Rising costs meant that even the once reliable trading of unsatisfactory citizens was not enough to feed expanding budgets. Additional revenue sources had to be found.

The charity 'Fraction Action' (see newspaper ad above) was the brainchild of Sir John Elegy who was not only a member of Scarfolk council but also had shares in Scarfolk Laboratories, a company owned by the Cavalier Pharmaceutical company (see 'Discovering Scarfolk' for more details).

To be fair, 'Fraction Action' did redirect some of the donations it received: 1.2p out of every £100,000 was put in a jar in the Scarfolk Labs canteen as a contribution to the dinner ladies' Christmas lunch. The remainder of the donations was consumed by 'administration' (i.e., administering recreational medication), 'running costs' (i.e., running to ground people who had been farm-bred specifically for hunting) and 'over heads' (i.e., literally expensive flights abroad).

The 'Fraction Action' campaign ads also efficiently foreshadowed and justified the council's later random purging of citizens, which was necessary if Scarfolk Labs was to continue its crucial genetic experiments into human/furniture hybridisation, a noted example of which was the Hair Chair.

"Pious Peril" public information (1972)

When the stationery-worshipping cult of Officism became the dominant faith in 1970s Scarfolk (see Discovering Scarfolk for more details) all other religions were forced underground.

Consequently, outcast religious zealots would loiter outside schools and target vulnerable children. The devout deviants would try to entice youngsters into their cars with colourful, desirable books about eschatological and soteriological theology. Sometimes they would expose their tabernacles.

However, children weren't such easy prey. Officist schools taught their pupils rudimentary anti-religion logic, such as the well-known observation by Epicurus:

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? 
Then he may have accidentally locked himself in the garage.
Is he able, but not willing? 
Then he may still be upset with you for eating that ham salad sandwich last April. 
Is he both able and willing? 
Then he may just be delayed for some reason, e.g., stuck in traffic.
Is he neither able nor willing? 
Then he may have lost his job due to an industrial accident, such as getting his beard caught in a factory machine. Or he might be striking over having to work 6 days a week without benefits.

Some children did inadvisedly go with these pious perverts, but only because they wanted to practice what they had learned in their kidney removal classes.