This post is part one of two about confectionery.
By the late 1970s, vaccine injections increased to 9 times daily with 12 on Sundays and public holidays. While children raised in Scarfolk's stationery and office-supply cult looked forward to their inoculations against pernicious diseases such as rabies, tetanus and altruism, heretical children were prone to rebel. Parents had to be cunning and find new ways of ensuring that their children, and the children they had borrowed without permission, honoured their legally-binding medical obligations.
Parents worked closely with the Notional Health Service and confectionery manufacturers to create booby-trapped items, such as ice-creams, Christmas puddings and Easter eggs, as can be seen above. Hidden inside each sugary treat was a spring-loaded hypodermic needle primed to deliver its medicinal load.
Unfortunately, the scheme backfired. A vaccine works by exposing the patient to a small dose of the virus or disease, but the NHS had not taken into account the greed of children, who were eating so many sweets that they not only developed full-blown diseases such as rabies, but they were also becoming too large to fit comfortably on civic sacrifical altars.
Happy Ēostre from Scarfolk Council.
This brings back horrific memories of being force-fed Sarrs Bars as a child. I've suffered lifelong ADD as a result, which has left me unable to work, rest or play for longer than a few minutes at a time. On the plus side I can travel on the subway in Japan with total confidence.
ReplyDeleteI remember the slogan for Menstruals was "They melt in your mouth, not in your hand". But I don't remember what they tasted like.
ReplyDeletethis habit of using hypodermic syringes is alive and well my 6 yr old regularly injects her baby hamsters orally with class A drugs when playing with her Barbie's crack den. In her favour she rarely uses the same needle twice.
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