Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Thursday, 24 December 2015
Christmas Civil Defence. Public Information (1979)
By 1979, nuclear war was deemed an imminent threat. The previous year the government had held a referendum on whether to have one and the majority of Scarfolk residents voted in favour, largely because they liked the siren and thought it sounded funny.
They also voted for the 3 minute warning to be extended to 10 minutes so that older, frailer people could get to their windows in time to see the initial flash and subsequent mushroom cloud. A festive atmosphere was expected and party poppers sold out in anticipation of the countdown and explosion.
The children of Scarfolk primary school painted their own post-detonation blast shadows onto walls around Scarfolk and instead of a traditional nativity play they put on a post-apocalyptic version in which the star was replaced by a missile, the donkey wore a hazmat suit and a glowing, malnourished Jesus and Mary were forced to eat Joseph after he perished from radiation poisoning.
More nuclear war related public information HERE. For advice about what to do during catastrophic social breakdown go HERE.
Merry Christmess and a happy new year from all the staff at Scarfolk Council.
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I wish a happy last year to (almost) all the members of the counsil. See you in 1970 ! Thank you for all the goodies. My Chewbacca toilet brush broke in the middle while I was using it, but my kids enjoyed the advent calendar, the younger one for collecting nightmares and the older for his daily pills.
ReplyDeleteI remember receiving protect and survive as 11yr old. We raided the old people's home and removed all of the doors then made a pyramid with them. The local crèche took over the pyramid but Frank Clark set fire to it "by accident" There were no survivors. So much for "Protect and survive" ☢☢☢
ReplyDeleteNo dear,it's"Protect and serve with a nice bar-b-que sauce"!The pyramid kept the smoke temperature just perfect.
DeleteGood advice on the wasteful irresponsibility of playing with fallout ash. For it's density when combined with the detritus of human and mammal casualties will be sufficiently recycled and re-appropriated for future habitation structures like combination shelter and rec centers in the post-apocalypse.
ReplyDeletePeace, for '18, you suckers