Friday 23 May 2014

"Martyr Maid" Ice Cream (1970s)

In the 1970s, arcane cults and religious orders secretly funded multinational corporations with the goal of illicitly proselytising or brainwashing. Though the cults often targeted children via products such as toys and confectionery, including ice cream, as can be seen from the image below, adult virgins were also in great demand.

The aim was to subliminally indoctrinate a person over many years, so that by the time they came of age and were ready to be recruited, a cult's beliefs and rituals would not appear inappropriate, dangerous or even fatal.

This was especially true for people who were designated to become sacrifices to spirit deities, of which there were many in Scarfolk. One particularly insatiable deity was Rupert, a Robot Penguin Lord, who consumed so many sacrifices between 1970 and 1975 that he developed diabetes and put on so much weight that he had to completely replace his wardrobe.


  1. This explains my childhood...

  2. I want a semi detached hovel in this amazing town

  3. Weren't ice-cream vans introduced purely to increase the number of road accident fatalities, thereby ensuring a plentiful supply of fresh childrens souls for the dark god Fharlanghn?

  4. 'Kids are ours', said both Santa Claus after using me as a Stretch Armweak at HellStallion.