Wednesday, 3 February 2016

The BBC Test Card Witch

(click to enlarge)

Many people recognise BBC television's test card "F". However, when it was broadcast in Scarfolk an old woman would inexplicably appear in place of the young girl as soon as parents left the room.

According to legend, if she turns to look you in the eye, you are fated to die beneath an overloaded lorry which will topple over, crushing you with its consignment of industrial safety equipment (Find out if you are cursed HERE).

Children called the woman Old Chattox and she was believed to be a 17th century witch whose spirit had been unintentionally revived and broadcast by a hilltop TV transmitting station built on the site of her execution. She frequently flouted broadcast guidelines and undermined the BBC's attempts to avoid product placement by advertising the services of a bull castrator who had been dead for nearly 400 hundred years.

Below: Photographs of Old Chattox taken by viewers between 1970 and 1978. Old Chattox wrote out demands on her blackboard, which children felt compelled to obey (top). She also drew occult or satanic symbols designed to mesmerise and indoctrinate young viewers. Some of her messages were seemingly nonsensical, though many people believed they were cryptic descriptions of future events (bottom).




Further reading:
i. Learn about Bubbles the clown and his range of possessed greetings cards.
ii. For more information about TV broadcast signal intrusions, see the 1975 We Watch You While You Sleep video.

12 comments:

  1. Oh sweet Ceiling Cat, I'm doomed... help me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She once wrote the words "frottage" and "rimming" in bold sanserif...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. A joke?????? Are you serious? You obviously must not have grown up in the Uk. Damn, I would literally soil my pants whenever old Chattox would flash up on screen

      Delete
    2. I didn't resume watching TV until it went 24 hours, and there was no longer a need for the test card. Once seen, never forgotten.

      Delete
    3. A joke?...I wish i were.

      Delete
  4. The curse of Old Chattox is too chillingly true. One look at the statistics between 1970-1977 involving death by transported industrial safety equipment will only go to confirm the dark forces that were at work within the BBC during this period.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was 9 years old when Colin Diggan was killed by the curse in my class. I remember him talking about the witch three days before in the playground. I never watched the test card again

    ReplyDelete
  6. I narrowly missed the lorry that killed my cousin, she'd been laughing about the scary old woman on the telly telling her things to do, she burned the vicar's house down only three days previously, when her parents and police asked her about it, she said the old woman on the Telly told her to do it. Oh it's true. I've seen the results of it

    ReplyDelete
  7. The card is there to test us that's why its called a test card. If you don't understand I suggest you reread

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did. Thank you for the timely advice.

      Delete
    2. I remember when she wrote, "GROW FANGS." on the blackboard and stared at my baby sister. We were mourning my sister's demise but she DID suddenly grow fangs and we have to mourn her afresh every night as she dies again and again in the spirit of dark horror that possessed her.

      Delete