Wednesday, 20 April 2016

National Security Ear Grafts (1975)

Click to enlarge

When compulsory surveillance ear grafts were introduced in 1975, many Scarfolk citizens resorted to non-verbal forms of interpersonal communication to avoid the attention of government eavesdroppers. This in turn prompted a ban and users of sign language, mime artists and even fans of the party game charades suddenly found themselves on the wrong side the law. Writing was also subject to restrictions and was only permitted when verbal delivery was not possible. Incensed by the ban, a fervent group of mimes known as the MLA (Mime Liberation Army) committed several acts of silent terror and built invisible walls around government buildings preventing staff from entering.

The authorities recognised that national security ears were perhaps not as feasible as they had originally thought. Although several other surveillance schemes were launched in Scarfolk in the 1970s (see, for example, thought-detector vans, telekinetic child-owls, I-Spy books and Living-Eye surveillance computers), GCHQ realised that the most productive way to surveil a nation is for the citizens to unwittingly collate all their own personal data, verbal or otherwise, and transmit it directly to the government. In essence, citizens spying on and betraying themselves. Unfortunately, this idea would be not become workable on an industrial scale until the age of the internet.


  1. I hope you don't mind me Tweeting the picture. It's just so... errm...

  2. Ear, ear, Bravo, after an ard days grafting down't pit, ear I find more grafting going on.I arsked wots goin on ear then, they said will jus finished this ear 'ear. And then will tell ye

  3. Very handy if you want to whisper yourself something but can play havoc with your spectacles

  4. If this girl has 3 ears, does this mean she hears in 3D?

  5. The ungrateful wretches often forgot to maintain basic hygiene for their lovely new addition!Some folks just don't appreciate kindness!