Friday, 15 July 2016

Xenophobic Postcards

 

In 1972 the University of Scarfolk trialled a new drug that affects the part of the brain that produces racist attitudes.

Researchers observed that the subjects lost control of their bodily functions and had to wear clinical incontinence products. Additionally, many subjects found it difficult to form coherent thoughts, much less verbalise them, and their mental ages registered as those of infants.

The experiment was discontinued, not on ethical grounds, but because the researchers concluded that there were no discernible behavioural and psychological differences between the racists who had taken the drug, and the control group of racists that hadn't.

When the Foreign Secretary read the study's findings, he decided that xenophobia should be extolled as one of Britain's defining virtues and he immediately set out to promote this idea abroad.


13 comments:

  1. "Brilliant" if you're a middle-class 6th Former from the Home Counties who couldn't be bothered to vote, blames the old and northerners for voting Leave, and think multiculturalism is great because you can get a Curry ready-meal from Waitrose. I always thought this site was just cheap sneering shit poncing on the back of Hauntology, but now that's been confirmed with this recent tanking in 'quality'.

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    1. Please fill out an official opinion request form and send it to your own address at your earliest convenience.

      For the record, according to an interview in Dictators Monthly, the mayor of Scarfolk is a lower-middle-class northerner, never got as far as 6th form and makes his own curries, but your stereotype has been noted. Thanks!

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    2. Excellent Response!

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    3. AOSS, he seems to have touched a nerve there. Are you one of those natural xenophobes or were you part of the drug trial?

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    4. AOSS, nobody is forcing you to read the site. Or *are* they...?

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    5. "... I always thought this site was just cheap sneering shit poncing on the back of Hauntology..."

      Do you read such sites for pleasure, or as some kind of mental flagellation?

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  2. _hums_there'll always be an England.......

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  3. Xenophobia unites the whole world.

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  4. God bless the trolls. Do you think they'd be a little less cross about everything if they just spent half an hour on a bouncy castle?

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    1. Actually snorted at this

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    2. I'm stealing this .

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