Thursday 21 September 2017

Lavaland Holiday Camp (1970-1970)


Lavaland was a holiday camp on the outskirts of Scarfolk built around an active volcano, which had been designated an area of outstanding natural peril.


It opened on the first of May 1970 and closed on the first of May 1970, a mere eight hours after opening, following a catastrophic volcanic event that killed nearly three thousand guests and could be heard as far away as the bowling green in Torquay.



The Council's Tourism & Leisure Department claimed that the tragedy was a freak accident that could not have been predicted. It soon became apparent, however, that the victims were people the council had previously tried, unsuccessfully, to evict from the town: children born out of wedlock, foreigners, the poor, people with lisps, and women with ideas of their own, among others.



9 comments:

  1. As a woman with my own thoughts I'd like to say.....Aaaaaggghh

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  2. Still don't know what all the fuss was about. The smell of burnt chicken was quite exquisite that day, if you happened to have a back row seat in a cabin with wards against lava that is.

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  3. Hello? I am an exchange student and I like it here very much, but I have been here a long time now. Where is Stephen? If my parents love me why did they never come back?

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  4. The American president Cheetos McTinyhands loves playing golf here,

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    1. I love everything about this comment. Thanks for giving me a new nickname for the asshole in chief!

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    2. ... & Thank-YOU for giving us a new nickname for President Cheetos McTinyhands

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  5. The soles of my shoes are still welded to my feet after my trip on Lava McLavaface.

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  6. Has anyone recommended Lavaland to President Trump? Surely he might see it as a superb investment opportunity / solution to immigration and / or people voting Democrat. He might also, God willing, visit himself.

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