Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Thursday 21 September 2017
Lavaland Holiday Camp (1970-1970)
Lavaland was a holiday camp on the outskirts of Scarfolk built around an active volcano, which had been designated an area of outstanding natural peril.
It opened on the first of May 1970 and closed on the first of May 1970, a mere eight hours after opening, following a catastrophic volcanic event that killed nearly three thousand guests and could be heard as far away as the bowling green in Torquay.
The Council's Tourism & Leisure Department claimed that the tragedy was a freak accident that could not have been predicted. It soon became apparent, however, that the victims were people the council had previously tried, unsuccessfully, to evict from the town: children born out of wedlock, foreigners, the poor, people with lisps, and women with ideas of their own, among others.
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As a woman with my own thoughts I'd like to say.....Aaaaaggghh
ReplyDeleteStill don't know what all the fuss was about. The smell of burnt chicken was quite exquisite that day, if you happened to have a back row seat in a cabin with wards against lava that is.
ReplyDeleteHello? I am an exchange student and I like it here very much, but I have been here a long time now. Where is Stephen? If my parents love me why did they never come back?
ReplyDeleteThe American president Cheetos McTinyhands loves playing golf here,
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this comment. Thanks for giving me a new nickname for the asshole in chief!
Delete... & Thank-YOU for giving us a new nickname for President Cheetos McTinyhands
DeleteThe soles of my shoes are still welded to my feet after my trip on Lava McLavaface.
ReplyDeleteWow that's great history
ReplyDeleteHas anyone recommended Lavaland to President Trump? Surely he might see it as a superb investment opportunity / solution to immigration and / or people voting Democrat. He might also, God willing, visit himself.
ReplyDelete