Thursday 30 January 2020

NHS Face Removals (1977- )


While some children were born without faces simply because they didn't deserve them (see the Scarfolk Annual 197X), the government became increasingly concerned about citizens who did have them. They found that people with faces are more likely to have personal desires, hopes and dreams, in short: a will and ideas of their own. 

Such idiosyncrasies were not only thought of as needlessly self-indulgent, they were also deemed inconsistent with the smooth running of a successful society. Scarfolk's was the first council benevolent enough to offer face removals on the NHS.

In 1976, the council trialled face removals on stray foreigners, prisoners, children nobody wanted, unsuspecting people who were picked up leisurely walking in a park after sundown and volunteers (see leaflet above). 

When the full scheme was rolled out in 1977, the council soon lost track of which faceless citizen was which. By 1978 a new law was passed which dictated that all faceless people were required to have a tattoo of their old face over their lost one to make identification easier.

5 comments:

  1. People were also prohibited from using expressions using the word 'face' eg. Face the music, Put on a brave face, etc. Words alluding to facial components, like the words "cheeky" and "lippy" were also banned.

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  2. I recommand to wear your trousers like a regular polo.
    But don’t forget to choose dark large underpants for your top, on the legs. No see-through.
    If you don’t express anything horrific with your face, no one will see the difference between you and a un-headed hydrocelus testicularum patient reversed, looking for his keys on the ground or doing morning exercices.
    So you will no longer need to put your face between your legs for helping the acid tears bags implants to do what intended, at the half part of your crying time.
    And don’t try to remove your tatoo if you’re neighbour send the leaflet for you without your aknowledgment, because the average punishment is both hands.

    Mouldysauerkraut.

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  3. Nowadays the youth have a way around this it's called facetime. I don't advocate this as I source most material illegally via Android...

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  4. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE BROOD PARASITES AND ALL THIS HAPPENS WHEN YOU FOCUS ON UNNECESSARY SHIT LIKE THIS

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    Replies
    1. An,You're on a short trip for a sharp sudden sbock.The council will probably soon send a Wardrobe man o Dr to keep an eye on you to find out your associates before they gift you with a "Black Spot Card".Just accept your fate and remember,"Don't struggle.Ylu can't avoid the inevitable!"

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