Thursday, 10 March 2016

Welfare Recipient Targets (1971-1979)


In 1971 it became compulsory for welfare recipients to sew targets onto their clothing so that they could be identified in public at all times. The minister for social services rejected claims that the target invited personal attacks, sidestepping the fact that the government had concurrently increased its funding of archery classes for newly released criminal sociopaths as part of their reintegration into society.

Despite these developments, the number of people claiming welfare tripled by 1973, in part because many families had lost one or more breadwinners to arrow-related injuries. The government, desperate to reduce spending, began promoting the idea that less dependent members of society involved in "crimes against target wearers" should be exempted from legal proceedings. In fact, they were rewarded. For example, points on drunk drivers’ licenses were removed following accidents which produced fatalities within the boundaries of large council estates.

There were also several instances of fully-armed Alvis FV101 Scorpion tanks, with the keys in their ignitions, inexplicably left by the army on the driveways of decent, middle-class citizens who neighboured built-up social housing areas.

5 comments:

  1. Scarfolk shud be an olidi plaice. An sel roc an candi flos.an ave a plaice wer't scrubbers go, an't nancy boys, the fer can get wot ever tickles yer fanci after a few bevi's.

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    1. If u hAv pupies , i want to by i like red oak cider and walking by tow path after dark

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  2. Tourism spreads rabies Raymond. Bear this in mind the next time your abdominal wall is being subjected to massive hyperdermic intrusion.

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  3. This is why many UK roadsigns still contain arrows.

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  4. This was such a happy time for us we took pot shots at old people can cripples,particularly cripples even if they weren't wearing targets. I won the pools in 1976 and because an alcoholic...

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