Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Thursday, 23 February 2017
The Campaign for Real British Crime (CRBC)
When immigrants began moving to Scarfolk in the mid-1970s, many local criminals worried that foreign offenders would threaten their livelihoods. They formed an organisation called the Campaign for Real British Crime (CRBC), which fought for the rights of UK born criminals. The CRBC demanded that the police prioritise investigations in favour of offences committed by British lawbreakers, for whom they also tried to ensure more convictions and longer prison terms.
Campaigners for Real British Crime also attempted to reintroduce and encourage traditional, archaic crimes, some of which had not been committed in Britain for many years; for example, conspiring with a neighbour's goose while intoxicated, handling rhubarb and voles in suspicious circumstances, invoking demons while wearing a toupee, and committing crimes abroad when they can be carried out just as successfully at home.
Labels:
1970s,
brexit,
Britain,
crime,
immigrants,
jingoism,
law,
patriotism,
police,
poster,
prison,
Public Information,
Tradition,
UKIP,
unemployment,
xenophobia
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Scarfolk borstal ran in house courses on urinating in telephone boxes and contamination of phone receivers with tobacco grease. Burning the perspex panel with cigarette lighters resulted in reduction of sentences by up to six weeks.
ReplyDelete