Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Thursday 6 July 2017
Vegetable Politicians
Many publications in the 1970s attempted to predict how we might live in the future. The above excerpt from the Children's Journal of Political Science & Catering showed that the state’s official soothsayers often came uncannily close to reality.
Scarfolk, which was among the most progressive towns in the UK, actually trialled a vegetable-based political system in the mid-1970s. Citizens could elect the vegetable that they believed would best lead the town. However, despite the wide range of vegetables and legumes available, the system was quickly reduced to a binary one when extremist pro-legume groups clashed with pro-tuber factions in political allotments and nurseries across the region.
Additionally, any vegetables considered to be of foreign origin were interned in farm camps, later to be deported.
Further reading. For information about the conversion of children into kitchen appliances, see 'Discovering Scarfolk' p. 121-123.
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For more information, please re-read.
ReplyDeleteYou have conveniently forgotten the debate over whether tomatoes are vegetables or not and also the lunatic fringe who persistently nominated phallic shaped vegetables and roared laughing on election night as their candidates stood on the podium.
ReplyDeleteAll vegetables are of foreign origin, except water-cress, wild spinach, wild garlic, seaweeds, sea scurvy-grass and other shore-line plants, wild parsnips, wild carrots, nettles...
ReplyDeleteAll these so called 'wild' plants, yet I would imagine you've never been attacked by a plant have you? Why the hate, plants are your friends and much like your all your other friends they taste so nice when chopped up and added to a casserole.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I have to go water my baby Triffid, see you later.