Thursday 22 February 2018

Under 7s Fire Service

The Under-7s Fire Service was one of several children's emergency services in Scarfolk. There was also a mountain/volcano* rescue team and an SAS-style toddler regiment. The children received little training but they did get a lolly if they were good and/or survived their first week of active duty.

Enrolment in such organisations became mandatory when a government study revealed that parents were only putting forward their least favourite children. This was a serious issue for the government because it diverted workloads away from, and reduced target quotas of, state child recycling facilities, which had been set up at great cost to deal specifically with processing unwanted, less-valuable offspring.

* Many children were sent to work at Lavaland.

See also: child terror groups and children's homicide forensics teams.


  1. Government is the name for the things we force each other to do.

  2. Or the best way to get paid to get away with ANYTHING you want!

  3. This post reminds me of the time I prepared my children for a Post Nuclear war world by exposing them to near fatal doses of radiation, thanks to the local hospitals lack of security in their Xray department, incinerated our house, it's contents and the kids grandparents. I also disposed of any food they might get to and shot the dog, it wasn't my dog but the neighbour's but I thought my kids needed to see a dead animal or two.

    After several minutes my firstborn died and shortly after two of his siblings perished but the eldest survived for 3 weeks before I decided to end the experiment, she was so relieved and grateful that it was almost a pity that she died several weeks later due to the Xray radiation weakening her immune system so much that she got run over by a Bus.