Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Thursday 22 February 2018
Under 7s Fire Service
The Under-7s Fire Service was one of several children's emergency services in Scarfolk. There was also a mountain/volcano* rescue team and an SAS-style toddler regiment. The children received little training but they did get a lolly if they were good and/or survived their first week of active duty.
Enrolment in such organisations became mandatory when a government study revealed that parents were only putting forward their least favourite children. This was a serious issue for the government because it diverted workloads away from, and reduced target quotas of, state child recycling facilities, which had been set up at great cost to deal specifically with processing unwanted, less-valuable offspring.
* Many children were sent to work at Lavaland.
See also: child terror groups and children's homicide forensics teams.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Government is the name for the things we force each other to do.
ReplyDeleteOr the best way to get paid to get away with ANYTHING you want!
ReplyDeleteThis post reminds me of the time I prepared my children for a Post Nuclear war world by exposing them to near fatal doses of radiation, thanks to the local hospitals lack of security in their Xray department, incinerated our house, it's contents and the kids grandparents. I also disposed of any food they might get to and shot the dog, it wasn't my dog but the neighbour's but I thought my kids needed to see a dead animal or two.
ReplyDeleteAfter several minutes my firstborn died and shortly after two of his siblings perished but the eldest survived for 3 weeks before I decided to end the experiment, she was so relieved and grateful that it was almost a pity that she died several weeks later due to the Xray radiation weakening her immune system so much that she got run over by a Bus.