Thursday 27 August 2015

"No" (1973-1975)

In 1973 Scarfolk Council released the above poster all over town. On the same day it also stopped responding to applications for welfare benefits, in fact it stopped responding to all enquiries from the public.

Those who called the council telephone number were answered by a distant, echoing voice which relentlessly repeated the word 'No'. It wasn't a recorded message and callers could sometimes hear faint whimpering in the background.

Some families received letters from the council which contained a single instance of the word, while others received multi-page letters with 'No' printed many hundreds of times. The longest 'No' letter received by a citizen contained 178,121 pages and was delivered by an articulated lorry, whose number plate also simply read 'No'.

Hoping for a 'No' answer, numerous residents tried to take advantage of the council by asking if they were required to pay their taxes or respect the law. Such people were visited by an impeccably dressed man called Mr. Custard who had rows of paper clips and occult symbols tattooed on his face. He would whisper briefly in the residents' ears before leaving. All were found dead within days of Mr Custard's visit, having slit their own wrists and daubed the word 'No' in their own blood on the walls of their homes.

In 1975 the 'No' era suddenly stopped. The council apologised and claimed that it had simply been the result of a clerical error.

For the 'Stop!' campaign see "Discovering Scarfolk" (page 154). For the 'Don't' campaign go HERE.


  1. Would you be willing to issue this one as a print or a badge? (Let me guess: "NO.")

  2. I love your genius. That's all :)

  3. Reminds me of a trip to Framely...

  4. I liked it better when this said "No comments". (There weren't any "No" comments then.)

  5. There needs to be a t-shirt of this image.

  6. This would make an excellent meme for the upcoming US Presidential, I mean Election

  7. No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No there's no limits on parking between 9am and 5pm weekdays

  8. What is going on with the weird eyes and teeth barely visible on the surface of the hand? Some kind of seventies primitive Deepdream ?

    1. See the paperclip on the finger to the right of the pinky?

  9. Tomorrow's No
    Gardener's No
    World of No
    Antiques Noshow
    Space Nonety Nonety No
    Blake's No
    Doctor No
    No the Buses
    No's at Ten with Trevor Mc Nonald
    Noronation Street
    Top of the Nopes
    A Question of No
    Nopety Nope
    John Craven's No'sround
    No Ninety

  10. "Will Mr. Custard come and either directly or indirectly cause my death after I have exploited the "no" era in every way imaginable and many ways unimaginable?

    1. Really now,Do you expect the poor dear fellow to work for free?Too lazy to top yerself properly is what it sounds like ta me! and you'd likely bungle the job and make a dreadfull mess!Or, your a one a them perverts as what likes the pain!Puts him right off,when you take the fun out of it.Besides,You have to file the proper forms and get a permit first!And the skilled workman deserves his fee.

  11. As me auld Gran used to say;"If you can't join them,beat them! Preferably with a big stick."