It has been some time since the mayor permitted us access to his collection of 1970s pharmaceutical postcards. Here's one for the summer:
The text on the reverse of the postcard:
"A child's skin is vulnerable and can easily burn, which could impair the flavour. To avoid damaging the skin first blanch the child for fives minutes then generously apply Son Oil. Add salt, pepper and newts to taste, then leave the child in the garden during the hottest part of the day. Whimpering usually means that the child is ready to be transferred to the grill or oven. Warning: Illegitimate or unbaptized children burn more quickly."
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Saturday 6 July 2013
"Son Oil" Baby Marinade (1979)
Labels:
1970s,
children,
fear,
food,
healthcare,
immolation,
injury,
killings,
products,
Scarfolk,
sickness,
sun burn,
sun lotion,
torture
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Could I just add that, in the warmth of a summers evening, it is acceptable for the celebrant to don the lightweight goat's head for convenience. However, because of the risk of spitting fat, being sky-clad is NOT recommended until the danger is judged to be minimal.
ReplyDeleteYour number one priority is keeping babies at ray.
ReplyDeleteAppreciated.
ReplyDelete