Nobody forgets school sex education lessons. Here's a page from a 1978 biology textbook taught in Scarfolk schools.
Our biology teacher was called Mr. Poppets. In 1975 he and his wife were involved in some kind of cult-related skiing accident. Tragically, his wife was killed and he lost an eye.
Mr. Poppets made a tiny model of his wife which he installed inside a miniature snow globe. The snow globe was then inserted into his eye socket to replace the lost eye.
During lessons he would stand in front of the mirror, lightly shake his head from side to side, and drunkenly mumble the lyrics of Brotherhood of Man's Eurovision hit "Save Your Kisses for Me."*
*For those of you who may have forgotten this heartrending song here it is again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxJyv11qEnc
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Sex. Sex. Sex. 1978
Labels:
1970s,
cult,
dawkins,
Hauntology,
healthcare,
library,
medicine,
Public Information,
Scarfolk,
school,
snow globe
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Was it Mr Poppets who thought the school's problematic heating issues could be solved by using under performing students as 'fuel', following the correct Pagan sacrificial ceremonies of course?
ReplyDeleteI remember this text well – for putting the fun into infundibulum – I believe there may be an inaccuracy corrected in later (and current) editions however – for reference, and apologies for pedantry, I think it may be the figure number, which is referred to as fig 3 in the updated works….
ReplyDeleteAh, that explains everything! Much more plausible than the nonsense they taught us at our school.
ReplyDeleteNow I know to be offended when a Brit threatens to blunder my underham
ReplyDeleteF*ck
ReplyDelete