Wednesday 20 February 2013

Scarfolk Ice-Cream range, 1979

In Scarfolk the ice-cream van man comes between 3 & 4am. You can hear him blaring the haunting Swedish Rhapsody numbers station* from over a mile away.

The ice-cream van man wears a clown mask to disguise the horrific burns on his face because he doesn't want to frighten the children. He uses clothes pegs to hold the mask on because he is missing an ear.

He lives in a nondescript building in an electrical substation and no one knows his name.

*Here's a recording of Scarfolk's ice-cream van playing the Swedish Rhapsody Numbers Station.


  1. A Jesus Fudge Helmet, please? Oh, and do you have any skin flakes?

  2. I remember this dude! I lost three teeth to him playing midnight mumblety peg behind the bus barn once. He gave me a stick of butter. Good times...

  3. Two gammon bedsores please. They're not for me, they're for those boys over there.

  4. I used to run an ice cream van. The similarities are scary. Do you know me?

  5. I was just curious as to which ITV region Scarfolk received. Was it by any chance my own specialist subject, Cumberland Television?

  6. I trust that the ice cream in these products contains a healthy proportion of pork fat? It's good for the constitution you know..

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  7. Vanilla Pol Pot with Monkey Blood on please

  8. Ah the days spent listening to Gary Numan and idly sucking on Fizzy Foreigners. You can't get them anymore now that Amnesty International and the whole politically correct anti-torture crowd has banned animal-imports from East Germany - world gone mad if you ask me.

    Don't remember all-the-way-ins though; must have been before my time.


  9. I don't think it was necessary to change all the ice cream names. "Wibbly Wobbly Wonder" sounds pretty sketchy already!