In Scarfolk the ice-cream van man comes between 3 & 4am. You can hear him blaring the haunting Swedish Rhapsody numbers station* from over a mile away.
The ice-cream van man wears a clown mask to disguise the horrific burns
on his face because he doesn't want to frighten the children. He uses
clothes pegs to hold the mask on because he is missing an ear.
He lives
in a nondescript building in an electrical substation and no one knows
his name.
*Here's a recording of Scarfolk's ice-cream van playing the Swedish Rhapsody Numbers Station.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUQUD3IMbb4
Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Scarfolk Ice-Cream range, 1979
Labels:
1970s,
children,
clown,
Council,
death,
disease,
drugs,
fear,
foreigners,
golly,
Hauntology,
ice cream,
library music,
medicine,
mental,
numbers stations,
rabies
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A Jesus Fudge Helmet, please? Oh, and do you have any skin flakes?
ReplyDeleteI remember this dude! I lost three teeth to him playing midnight mumblety peg behind the bus barn once. He gave me a stick of butter. Good times...
ReplyDeletePoster, please!
ReplyDeleteTwo gammon bedsores please. They're not for me, they're for those boys over there.
ReplyDeleteI used to run an ice cream van. The similarities are scary. Do you know me?
ReplyDeleteI was just curious as to which ITV region Scarfolk received. Was it by any chance my own specialist subject, Cumberland Television?
ReplyDeletehttp://cumberlandtelevision.blogspot.co.uk/
I trust that the ice cream in these products contains a healthy proportion of pork fat? It's good for the constitution you know..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteVanilla Pol Pot with Monkey Blood on please
ReplyDeleteAh the days spent listening to Gary Numan and idly sucking on Fizzy Foreigners. You can't get them anymore now that Amnesty International and the whole politically correct anti-torture crowd has banned animal-imports from East Germany - world gone mad if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteDon't remember all-the-way-ins though; must have been before my time.
Anonymous
I don't think it was necessary to change all the ice cream names. "Wibbly Wobbly Wonder" sounds pretty sketchy already!
ReplyDelete